Zergnet
In March 2017, Florida resident Fidel Gonzalez Gutierrez found himself arrested due to having six outstanding warrants, all related to dealing cocaine. (We'd love to make a joke about Santa selling the wrong kind of "snow," but the entire internet beat us to it.) In his booking photo, he had long white hair and a bushy white beard, just like St. Nick. He was even wearing a red shirt, leaving him just a couple elves short of a sweatshop. It's not terribly surprising his mugshot went viral; "Santa doing a bad, bad thing" is low-hanging fruit, though presumably Billy Bob Thornton is mad this guy stole his character
According to ABC-10, the website for Gonzalez's jail says he's a fisherman, despite the Mall Santa thing being literally right there. Then again, if he's this preoccupied with cocaine, he may not be too concerned with Christmas. Either way, keep this story away from the kids. They've already got enough questions about that whole "reindeer flying" thing
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